While comprehensive EMDR therapy requires a trained professional, bilateral stimulation exercises can be safely practiced at home for stress relief, relaxation, and emotional regulation. This guide provides safe, effective techniques you can start using today.
Understanding Safe Self-Practice
Before diving into techniques, it’s important to understand what’s appropriate for self-practice and what should be reserved for professional therapy.
Safe for Home Practice
- General stress reduction — calming an activated nervous system
- Relaxation and mindfulness — as part of a wellness routine
- Mild emotional upset — processing day-to-day frustrations
- Resource strengthening — enhancing positive feelings and memories
- Sleep preparation — calming racing thoughts before bed
- Pre-event calming — before stressful presentations or conversations
Requires a Professional
- Traumatic memories — especially childhood or complex trauma
- PTSD symptoms — flashbacks, nightmares, severe avoidance
- Severe distress — material rated 7+ out of 10 in intensity
- Dissociative symptoms — feeling disconnected or “not yourself”
- Suicidal thoughts — seek immediate professional help
Preparation for Self-Practice
Setting Up
- Choose a quiet, private space where you won’t be interrupted
- Sit comfortably with both feet on the ground
- Have grounding tools nearby — a glass of water, something to hold
- Set a timer if helpful — 5-15 minutes for most exercises
- Have your phone or app ready if using visual bilateral stimulation
The 1-10 Rule
Before and during practice, rate your distress on a scale of 1-10:
- 1-3: Calm, safe for any technique
- 4-6: Mildly upset, appropriate for self-practice
- 7-10: Significantly distressed, use grounding only or seek support
If distress increases significantly during practice, stop and use grounding techniques.
Core Self-Practice Techniques
Technique 1: Visual Bilateral Stimulation with App
The simplest way to practice bilateral stimulation at home using the EMDR4LIFE app.
- Open the app and select your preferred settings (speed, duration)
- Sit comfortably about arm’s length from your screen
- Follow the moving ball smoothly with your eyes, keeping your head still
- Breathe naturally as you track the movement
- Notice any shifts in how you feel without trying to force anything
- Continue for 2-5 minutes or until you feel calmer
- Take a few deep breaths before stopping
Technique 2: The Butterfly Hug
A self-administered technique developed by EMDR therapists for use after disasters.
- Cross your arms over your chest, hands resting on opposite shoulders
- Interlock your thumbs to create a “butterfly” shape
- Close your eyes or soften your gaze
- Slowly and rhythmically tap alternate shoulders — left, right, left, right
- Maintain a slow, steady pace (about 1 tap per second on each side)
- Focus on your breathing or a peaceful image
- Continue for 1-3 minutes
Technique 3: Knee or Thigh Tapping
A discreet technique you can use almost anywhere.
- Sit with your hands resting on your thighs or knees
- Alternate tapping or pressing your left and right legs
- Keep a steady, rhythmic pace
- Focus on your breath or a calming thought
- Continue for 2-5 minutes
Technique 4: Safe/Calm Place Exercise
This technique combines visualization with bilateral stimulation to create a powerful resource for self-soothing.
- Choose your place: Imagine somewhere you feel completely safe and calm (real or imagined)
- Notice details: What do you see? Hear? Feel? Smell?
- Find the feeling: Notice where you feel the calm in your body
- Add bilateral stimulation: While holding this image, do the butterfly hug or use the app
- Create a cue word: Choose a word that represents this feeling (like “peaceful” or “beach”)
- Strengthen: Do several short sets of bilateral stimulation while holding the image and cue word
- Practice recall: Think the cue word and notice if the calm feeling returns
Once established, you can use your cue word anytime you need quick calm.
Technique 5: Container Exercise
A technique for temporarily setting aside overwhelming material until you can address it properly.
- Imagine a strong container—a vault, safe, treasure chest, or any sturdy container
- Visualize placing whatever is bothering you inside the container
- Close and lock the container securely
- Add bilateral stimulation while imagining this
- Know that the material is safely contained until you’re ready to address it (ideally with professional support)
Grounding Techniques
If you become too activated during practice, use these grounding techniques:
5-4-3-2-1 Technique
- 5 things you can see
- 4 things you can touch/feel
- 3 things you can hear
- 2 things you can smell
- 1 thing you can taste
Physical Grounding
- Press your feet firmly into the ground
- Hold something cold (ice cube, cold water)
- Splash cold water on your face
- Name the current date, time, and location out loud
Building a Self-Practice Routine
Starting Out
- Begin with 2-3 minutes per session
- Practice when calm first, before using during distress
- Try different techniques to find what works best for you
- Notice what happens without judging or forcing outcomes
Regular Practice
For best results, consider:
- Morning practice: 5 minutes to start the day grounded
- As-needed use: When stress or anxiety arises
- Evening wind-down: Before bed to calm racing thoughts
Tracking Progress
Keep a simple log noting:
- Which technique you used
- How you felt before (1-10)
- How you felt after (1-10)
- Any observations
Common Questions
How fast should the bilateral stimulation be?
For calming purposes, a moderate pace (about 1 second per side) often works well. You can experiment with faster or slower speeds to see what feels best.
How long should I practice?
Start with 2-5 minutes. For general relaxation, 5-15 minutes is usually sufficient. Stop if distress increases significantly.
What if I feel worse during practice?
Stop the bilateral stimulation, use grounding techniques, and if distress persists, consider consulting a professional. This can happen if you inadvertently accessed deeper material.
Can I do this while thinking about a problem?
For mild stressors (rated 1-5), yes. For significant distress or traumatic material, work with a therapist instead.
When to Move Beyond Self-Practice
Self-guided bilateral stimulation is a helpful tool, but it has limits. Consider seeking professional EMDR therapy if:
- You have traumatic memories that continue to disturb you
- Self-practice consistently brings up overwhelming material
- You want to process specific difficult experiences
- You’re experiencing symptoms of PTSD, severe anxiety, or depression
- You want deeper, more complete healing
Think of self-practice as maintenance and stress relief, while professional therapy provides the deeper repair work. Both have their place.
Get Started Now
Ready to try bilateral stimulation? The EMDR4LIFE app provides an easy way to begin with visual bilateral stimulation. It’s free, private, and works on any device.
For more information about when professional help is recommended, read our guide on when to seek professional EMDR therapy.